i have been feeling very tired lately even after sleep and wake up, my interest in sexual activities has faded I have low libido and anything that excited me , I just want to avoid it nowadays and do it only when forced to. also very sleepy right after eating too
Hi xxxx , xxxx will take up your case.
Good Morning xxxx! I am here to help you, please tell me more about your problem.
if you want, we can talk earlier as well, as per your availability :)
Thank you for understanding
Can we have the session now
Just give me 10 minutes..
I will.be calling you
okay, there is a problem, I may not be able to speak on the phone
reason being I'm in Hong kong
is it fine if you can call on the number I have in HK, for else we could just use the chat
Usually in psychological counselling we prefer call consultations as it helps us to understand the case better and I will be able to help you out in a better way
okay? or is there hotline where I can call, and they ll transfer my call to you?
xxxx, I am calling you now. Please pickup.
i apologise for the same, but there isn't much of an option
I'll explain my concern in detail:
See on text there s not much that we can discuss.. To be very honest.. Because what happens is on phone we get yo deal with the feelings and the emotions
We can try it though..
so im 23 years old, and just finished my bachelor's degree
being a xxxx resident, have come back to the country to start my career, also my family doesn't stay here anymore, so I'm on my own ( which is not a problem because I haven't really spent much time with my immediate family in particular)
ever since childhood, that is since 45 days of age, I was taken away by my grandparents to be raised...
so this is a brief background
So you have been in honk long throughout?
And for how many days you were with your grandparents.?
no, I ve been raised in xxxx, xxxx.
however, spent almost half of every year travelling to xxxx and xxxx
I am a smoker, ( about 5-8 a day)
I never had issues with being, social, umm sort of sexually active, or even in the mood for any interaction in general
the feeling is gone, like I'm in a slump for the past few months, and I'm tired all day, for example I'll eat and leave the house, and the moment I hit the road, I feel like going back to sleep
which distracts any focus on my task, or aim for the day, in turn making me upset, losing self love and you know the rest better
So are you currently in college.?
Or college got over?
college got over, a month ago, therefore in Hk, almost landed a job too
still no mental satisfaction:(
Ohkay so you are planning to come back??
no chronic illness, or anything of the sorts
So after getting the job you still don't feel that excitement/ motivated??
i went out to celebrate last night, generally.
and i wasn't excited. and the end of it, I was supposed to go my place with someone, I made an excuse and dropped them and went home alone
Ohkay.. So how does this all make you feel?
upset, dissapointed, not at my best.
So if you think back can you pin point at any particular incident that has made you feel this way??
well, yes we had a financial disaster back in 2014, where in my family lost all the finances and luxuries, it has been a tough few years since then. but I worked hard physically, and mentally to come back here
and I thought this will make me.... feel like me again
Ohh.. that must be hard.
Did it all happen suddenly?
btw, it was sudden. yes, everything that I felt was a normal basic amenity, was gone for me, which by the was a luxury to have.
and ... I have made my amends to it by realising that these years have taught me a lot
That's very positive and brave of you xxxx.
So tell me about the current job that you have..
i have to start working at a product based company, in the IT department
at the job I will most likely be working as an analyst, for which I am excited.
but the feeling of tiredness( like my energy has been sucked out) also since you're my doctor, I feel a little shy about discussing this but my libido is almost not there
How's your friends circle??
Basic support group??
it's full of high society people, they are close. for now I have been catching up with one or two family friends at a time
When you say tiredness are there any sorts of thoughts going on in your mind?
yes, the thoughts are: I need to get my family back on track ( I'm not the sole earner, that is not a problem at all) I need to get fit again, like excercise everyday why is my libido ...dead.( it is getting embarassing for me ). however it isn't like I have ED. it is more situational.
so three things in the primary
and secondary, whenever I'm out, I start thinking " oh I didn't drink enough water,"
" oh I should have slept more and Gone out"
We can discuss it in detail then..
Alright so what s happening is you are feeling tired because these thoughts are constantly bothering you..
We can these thoughts as negative automated thoughts..
What happens is one thought leads to another thought and these thoughts go and on..which makes us feel exhausted and that's the reason we don't feel like doing anything..
So we need to do is keep 2 objectives for our session.
1. How to reduce these thoughts
2. How to make sure these thoughts don't come to at all.
First what we need to do is make certain life stye changes
Can you tell me about your daily routine?
okay, I get up by 8 drink coffee then I get out of the house after my shower.... ( but the buffer between shower and leaving is the first trigger because I take a pause, sit , watch something)
after that, I just try to find something to do, because I believe no matter what one should leave home to be productive
then the whole days goes by doing some task, like looking for work, or some other formalities, or just touristing around because I am back after so long
evening I try and meet any friend who Is free
and then I'm back to sleep
(once I begin working, I am going to the gym, for now it is on pause due to expense managing )
So here what we can do is when you get up if gym is not possible try going out for morning walk or jogg
7-7.45 walking /jogging..
And I want you to Indulge in a new hobby..
Something you have ever done but always wanted to do.
See we need to make changes on such a way that we enjoy what we are doing..
So get in touch with the creative side of yours..
When you leave the house make certain goals / tasks for the day and once you done Mark it as done so what happens is you feel like you have done something productive.
Whenever you feel negative take a break from everything that you are doing..
Get up from your place wash yiur face,have a glass of water,breathe in and out and get some fresh air..
This will relax your body and make you feel a little positive.
seems like a great idea :)
Start maintain a diary where you record all your thoughts So write it down like 1. Situations 2. Thoughts 3. Feelings 4. Behaviour 5. Consequences.
but i will try to do it :)
What happens is this helps you maintain and keep a tab on yiur thoughts..
Usually we focus on the thoughts and feelings aspects .. So anytime when you feel negative you can look at the diary and understand what's making you feel this way and then you can change that thought process.
aah! i didn't see it this way
it is just that I feel I won't be regular with it
It's a very simple task..
Before sleeping just think of 3 task that you did and it affected you..
So while writing you will realise what is it that making you feel this way..
This is just to get some clarity.
okay, I have a clearer picture of how to do it
I. Understand.. this is just to get a pattern of thoughts... because all of us have a similar pattern so once we realose that we will be able to help remove those negative thoughts..
And whenever something is bothering you write it down in a sheet of paper if the diary is not consistent..
Once you write it down.. tear it in small pieces and throw it away. So what happens is that the negative energy goes away while you tear the paper..
i will definitely try that
Are you trying to get the direction that we are moving in?
Usually in call it gets easier to understand..
But hopefully you are getting it..
Try all these things for a week and record your changes and let me know by next week..
So that we can take it further..
no, i do, the reason being i have a habit of grasping things due to me learning most of coping mechanisms on my owm
I hope I have cleared few of your querries .
Is there anything else that you would like to talk about?
will... this also help me with my... umm
because the burden would be lighter
but you have cases like me everyday, so it's better to have an opinion
See what happens is when our body gets aroused we feel a certain way but these thoughts are there on our mind continuously which pulls us back and we don't get aroused at all.
That s the reason the libido is low..
What we can do is try this for a week and see if there are any changes.
Ideally it should come back..
okay! thanks doctor, let me try your advice
you have been of immense help and given clarity.
i will tell you how i feel next week
Do let me know how you feel next week.
I am.glad I could be of some help
It was nice getting in touch with you..
of course, youre welcome, and likewise i feel better
a little bit , but let's see how the week is
Have a great day ahead..
Sure sure.. Do get in touch with me if you have any doubts..
Do you have any doubts or wish to share anything more?